We mourn
We mourn
I love children in general. Always have.
The picture above was taken little after our marriage. Very soon I was very attached to these kids who were so innocent and unassuming. They didn’t judge me, they didn’t try to make assumptions about me nor did they try to figure out how they could benefit from me. Typical adult traits right?
They just opened their arms and took me into their lives. Of course I didn’t have any children as yet and since I was the eldest in my family so no nephews or nieces as yet either.
So for me it was an amazing time to have spent during the growing up years of these kids from my in laws family.
I treated them as my own. I nurtured them.
Mentored them.
Guided them.
Made sure they stayed away from the evils of our grown up society and gave them the best instincts humanely possible.
I visited BD only twice a year. That’s twice as much since I got married for obvious reasons !
But that wasn’t enough time to properly guide them as these kids grew to become amazing young teens and now young adults.
I taught most of these kids basic sports like football and basketball and athletics. I tried very hard to instill in them good ethics, principles and middle class moral values.
Sometimes I succeeded and other times I failed miserably cause I was too far away and 11 months a year isn’t enough to make a real meaningful difference.
I just wish I could have been there for “her” more during her formative years. Maybe I could have saved her life.
It’s a fate I am forced to accept with a very heavy heart and move forward with her memories still so fresh in all our minds and lives. She was a big part. She was my eldest and first daughter and she will always live on in spirit in our heart and mind for the rest of our lives. We have to move forward and live on and fight the good fight for those who are with us and for those for whom we have to live even if it’s with a fake smile once in a while
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